What I Learned Living as a Monk for 18 Months

I went way too ahead in chasing peace

Dipanshu Rawal
7 min readSep 26, 2021


Photo by Thomas Oxford on Unsplash

Author’s note — This is one of the chapters from my new book. To know more about my book, visit here —


24 September 2019. My 23rd birthday.

I was in Dharamshala, India on a solo trip. Dharamshala is the place of H.H. Dalai Lama’s temple.

Roaming those streets on my birthday, I saw so many monks doing their day-to-day rituals; praying, eating, talking, etc. I entered the temple and saw a couple of monks praying and chanting.

For the first time in my life, I saw “peace”. All those monks had peace on their faces. I thought you could only feel peace. I was wrong.

I wanted that. I really, desperately, impatiently wanted that peace in my life.

1 week before my birthday, my girlfriend broke up with me.

1 day before my trip, my boss fired me for not coming to the office on a Sunday.

I was broke and broken. Literally.

I was in shock. My mind was blank, trying to contemplate what just happened. And then I went on this trip.

That look on those monks’ faces… I wanted that. That peace. That calm. That smile.

I decided I’ll be a monk.

It wasn’t a snap of a decision. I remember joking about it. I’d tell my friends when I’m 29 I’ll either be a monk, or I’ll take a mini-retirement to raise my daughter. Either-or kind of situation. You see, I’ve loved extremities since the beginning.

Love wasn’t working out for me. I always felt I’m a detached person. Better serve people wearing robes, than to continue suffering being who I was not. That’s what I thought at that moment.

I had tried multiple relationships, long-term, long-distance, casual, serious, friends with benefits, one-night stands, etc., and nothing worked for me. Every time I failed, I’d feel I lost a part of my heart.

I thought maybe this wasn’t meant for me.



Dipanshu Rawal

I help coaches create sustainable biz with love+ease 💚 || Life Coach and Biz Mentor || Important links: https://www.dipanshurawal.com/hello