I Was Crying in My Office Washroom

It was January 2019

I met Shikha via common friends, a few days before the incident. She’s an amazing singer and guitarist.

I was scrolling through Instagram and I saw her videos singing and playing guitar. She’s so good… really good.

I immediately shared those in DMs with a few close friends saying “how cool is she, right?”

At that moment it hit me — “Is there anyone who might be sharing my writings with this kind of excitement?” I doubted that.

I felt nauseated.

I went to the office washroom and vomited. And I cried. Maybe I had an anxiety attack. Too many things happened at once, so I don’t know.

I felt I had spent so many years and hours writing and yet I am not good enough.

I felt the pain of judgment in my body.

I consulted a therapist, and she diagnosed how I needed a lot of self-compassion at that moment. That’s when I started intentionally working on self-compassion.

I was always hard on myself, but this incident made me realize it’s not the right way to live.

We all have a choice to measure our progress with either judgment or compassion. It’s an either/or situation.

Compassion is the only antidote to judgment.

That’s why my mantra for 2021 is — “less judgment, more compassion”.

Less Judgment, More Compassion